Contrary to popular belief I actually don’t like to share too much of Diego and I on the internet, but I decided today I should share a bit on my little corner of the web.
Just a brief background to us, we’re both young Christians who have had many ups and downs but have still remained with each other and all Glory goes to God. We’ve been dating since 22nd March 2011 and we’re on our way to marriage! Woohoo!
I’ve seen and come across countless of different ways to what Godly relationships are and to be honest, as nice and beautiful as they sound they ALWAYS made me feel bad. Was I wrong for hugging my boyfriend? Was it wrong that we wanted to share meals together? Go to the movies together? I’ll have you know that our first date was actually with friends but we hardly spoke and didn’t even look at each other as much. Our first official date alone was to the cinema. We watched Limitless and it was a pretty good film, I remember we left the cinema and spoke about the film for a while. Now that I think about that date we didn’t do anything bad at all!
Since 2011 we have been through SO much. If you’re thinking ‘well, I bet if you didn’t go out alone you wouldn’t have gone through that’ or ‘well, you did kiss before marriage, so…’ In your beliefs you may be right, but I’m thankful for those moments now, why? Because we have been through a lot as individuals and as a couple, we’ve grown together and discovered new things about each other and even picked up habits together. We basically grew up together because we started the relationship when we were in our VERY late teens and we’re both now 22.
Now, to my point, if you’re in a relationship where you’re both Christians and you JUST heard about courting, please don’t feel bad. Don’t compare yourself to those relationships because each one is different and unique to God. However, if you are doing something you shouldn’t then I suggest you both repent whole heartily and leave it to God. If you do wish to change some habits then go ahead, that’s good as well. Now I’m not going to tell you that we are courting because we don’t, but what I can tell you is that we don’t kiss how any young teen kisses anymore, we just give each other pecks on the cheek, forehead and lips. We know our boundaries and we respect those boundaries. I love the times in which I get to go out to eat with Diego or the times when he takes me home from work or the times I can wait for him after work and walk around for a bit. Those times are the ones I will never get to have once we’re married because these moments are the ones in which he still gets to drop me at home where my family are waiting for me.
So just a little story, there was a time in which Diego and I were going through a rough season together and as individuals. Things weren’t going as we expected them, education, work and finance wise. We couldn’t control our relationship anymore and everything else wasn’t working out so this took a big toll on us but we had to support each other and trust God.
As the bible verse says, we really did give everything to God and He gave us rest. He gave me the focus and strength I needed to lift up my boyfriend spiritually and Diego did the same for me. We learnt to know that we were each others supporters and that God was the one that gave us the strength we needed. This showed me that once we’re married Diego really will be my leader and that God is moulding Him to the husband I need and it will be a forever process. We’ve been through the trials and we believed God and His mercy and love definitely looked after us. Diego and I have established a firm relationship with God that we keep between ourselves and our Heavenly Father because that’s how it should be. We’re engaged, planning our wedding and our honeymoon but overall focusing on marriage over everything else.
This blog post may come across as if I’m ranting on about Godly relationships but I’m not. I’m simply letting that one girl out there know that she doesn’t have to compare her “imperfect” relationship to the “perfect” relationship and plead to God so He can change her and her boyfriend to be like them. Embrace the relationship you have and ask God to guide the both of you. Pray together, for each other, for your relationship and spend time with God together. If you’re tired of taking control then hand it over to God, He knows what He’s doing. Trust me girl because we lived through it.
I hope this isn’t too controversial but remember that we only choose to share the happy moments and never the sad. So this moment I shared with you is for you to know that I too have had bad days but God has been there for me and for Diego.