I’m officially in week 19 of my pregnancy and it seems like it was only yesterday I found out I was pregnant. Seeing my bump grow day by day has been exciting but I’m still trying to get used to it. I already feel like I’m quite big and during the first couple of weeks I was still able to suck in my belly when I thought I was showing but I can no longer do that!
Now that I look back at my first trimester it wasn’t THAT bad however, it did have its ups and downs. Nothing prepares you for pregnancy or for the moment you get the positive on your test so the only thing I would recommend to anyone is take your time and make it a special moment for you and your partner. After telling Diego in the most creative way I could think of other than over the phone, not that there is anything wrong with telling your partner on the phone but I wanted to see his reaction and tell him face to face, we were both able to soak in the news together.
Luckily I didn’t get such bad morning sickness but I did feel sick at the sight of certain foods or smells but mostly meats to be honest. Even the thought of going into the kitchen and cooking I couldn’t handle because I would get really nauseous however, it was bearable to a certain point. I’m a massive food lover so the first trimester was very hard for me in terms of what I could eat. I found myself eating plain food because the smell and taste of too much seasoning made me sick, so, just salt and pepper would be enough for me. This meant cutting down drastically on my chili intake which was the hardest. The lack of food choice I had caused me to cry a lot over what I could eat simply because my appetite went down, the food I did eat was boring and when I did eat flavorsome food I would be sick and get headaches, so I just didn’t put myself through it.
Pregnancy has made me a bit more cautious about what I do eat and how much I eat. From the beginning of knowing I wanted kids I knew the whole eating for two was a big fat lie so don’t fall into that trap. I do find myself feeling hungry and back when a baby was not relying on me to nurture it properly I could skip meals but now, just a simple fruit or nuts is enough to get going until my next meal. Although I’ve read into what you can and cannot eat I try not to restrict myself too much because after all, this baby will one day be eating a couple of prawns themselves. I try to do everything in moderation and if I feel comfortable doing it, especially now that I’m in my second trimester and baby is still inside.
During the months of boring, flavorless dishes the only dish that I craved for was encebollado, a typical dish from my country, so I reached out to my aunty who was kind enough to make it for me. Other crazy craving I’ve had was roasted duck! I say crazy because I never order this when we’re out at a Chinese restaurant and I knew it was real since I kept pushing it off for so many days until one day I couldn’t control it and was literally dreaming of it. Apart from crying over the fact that I couldn’t eat yummy food I also became very very emotional, in fact, so emotional I cried because Diego would not scratch my head.
The first 3 months are always the ones with a higher risk of miscarriage so when the time came for us to have our first scan I couldn’t wait any longer to know if our little love bug was still there. We arrived and I had my check done to later be called in to the doctor’s room where I laid down and felt the warm jelly land on my tummy. It was a matter of seconds until we saw the outline of a little baby pop up on the screen and heard its heartbeat. We couldn’t believe it, I was crying and laughing at the same time, in awe of what is growing inside of me.
My first three months of pregnancy were tough in the sense that I did not feel comfortable in my own skin and I couldn’t adapt to seeing or feeling my body change. I would cry over and over again because my jeans did not fit me, because I didn’t feel like getting ready and I was not enjoying it. Not every pregnancy is going to be enjoyable but you are able to embrace it once you really understand that you are carrying the fruit of your love. It took me a while to understand that everybody will react differently and feeling guilty about not being able to cope with something as big as this is the last thing you would need.
Pregnancy as a whole is a beautiful thing, although I’m not having pre-natal depression, I did find myself doubting my ability to sustain a child for 9 months, seeing and adapting to my body changing. I did go through mornings that I didn’t want to do anything but after hearing our baby’s heartbeat, seeing it move on screen and finally feeling its tiny yet powerful little kicks at 18 weeks, I know I can go for the full 9 months and bring our little baby into this world.